I don't know why I bought this site. You want it? You can bid on it here: here
For now, here's 50 dad jokes:
- I have a lot of jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
- Why are space rocks more filling? They're a little meteor.
- What is brown and sticky? A stick.
- I went to the zoo and there weren't any animals except a dog. It was a shitzhu.
- It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and I haven't seen any progress. Tomorrow I'm going to go there in person to see what's really going on.
- Why did the man fall into the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
- I love to tell Dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs.
- What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
- Can February March? No, but April May.
- My girlfriend said she needs some time and distance. She must be calculating velocity.
- I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels. She never knew i existed.
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
- I had a statue made and the sculptor asked me if I wanted it made out of iron or bronze. I told him either ore.
- I found out that my girlfriend was really a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
- Why did the lion cross the road? To get to the other pride.
- Why aren't Koalas considered bears? They don't have the koalifications.
- Why are bees so bad at public speaking? They always bumble their words.
- Ceasar walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean a Martini?" Ceasar says "If I wanted a double, I would've asked for it."
- Justice is a dish served cold. If it was served warm, it would be justwater.
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well I'm not going to spread it.
- Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory.
- I have a belt made out of $100 bills. It was a waist of money.
- If USA was so great, why did they invent USB?
- Why are there Pop-Tarts and no Mom-Tarts? Because of the pastriarchy.
- What is a French toast "Bread, cinnamon, eggs, and maple syrup."
- What smells better than it tastes? A nose.
- What is a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, King Charles III of England.
- Here's a riddle: What's big, brown, made of concrete, and lives in the woods? A bear. I just added the concrete to make it harder.
- When is the best time to buy a bird? When it comes cheep.
- People say that you look smart when you wear glasses, but you have to fail a test to get them. They even let you look at the test!
- If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
- What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their game in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in and open foyer.
- Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain more body heat. The oily bird gets the warm.
- If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait 2 days - it will be a Saturday day.
- Why did Norwegian navy put barcodes on all of their boats? So that when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.
- What is a skeleton's favorite snack? Spare ribs.
- If Satan ever lost his hair, there'd be hell toupee.
- Where do bad rainbows go? To Prism. It's a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect.
- How do you roast a cobbler? You make fun of his shoes.
- Someone stole the P from a pirate. He was irate.
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!
- What does a fish say when it hits a wall? Dam!
- Police have confirmed that the man who fell form the roof of an 18th floor nightclub was not a bouncer.
- You can't spell cat without a
- A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.
- On the weekends, I hang out in IKEA scanning barcodes. Give me a tremendous sense of shelf-worth.
- To win a battle with a historian, you have to choose your battles. That's why I chose the Battle of Hastings. I know a lot about that one.
- My barber ran out of hair dye half way through. Fair enough.
- I just started cycling classes again. Spin ages.